


The Intervention

by AgentGreyNevada



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: But he can't, Cats, College, College AU, Denial, Dirt - Freeform, Friendship, Gen, Intervention, Petty, Silly, Students, Therapy, University, argument, it's in his genes, pairing - Freeform, platonic, sillay, wash needs to stop being petty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentGreyNevada/pseuds/AgentGreyNevada
Summary: Wash seems to have a problem getting into everyone's business. Can Carolina and Maine help him find solace?
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	The Intervention

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dannidorina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dannidorina/gifts).



> I wrote this for commission for Danni Dorina! Love them and I hope you enjoy!

"Wash, we need to chat," Carolina and Maine sat at a coffee table. Wash had just woken up - it was a Saturday morning and he just wanted to play with his cats. 

"Yes, I know I need to take Loki to the vet. He keeps....scratching." He mumbled tiredly, sitting at the open seat at the table. He didn't intend on staying up super late; the drama kicked in at odd hours of Blue House and he had to witness it. 

Maine gave a somewhat deep sigh as he dropped his head to his chest before Carolina followed up. "...no, we're not here to talk about your cats, Wash." She deadpanned as one of the cats rubbed against her leg. Wash rolled his shoulders before cracking his neck. 

"So, then what brought you guys over? Or uh...what brought Maine here?" Wash spoke awkwardly, still being half asleep. Him and Carolina lived together with the rest of the Blues, Maine lived off with Florida and Wyoming at an off campus townhouse away from campus. Maine chuckled to Wash's brief memory lapse as he glanced over to Carolina. 

"We uh....wanted to talk to you about something....we've noticed...." Carolina was now being the awkward one as Wash blinked a couple of times. 

"Um, okay, shoot. What's going on?" Wash looked naively between Maine and Carolina. Maine seemed to be growing impatient. 

"Secret Tea." He spoke shortly, his deep gravely voice showing no remorse. Wash appeared naïve. 

"What are you talking about? What's 'Secret Tea'?" He played dumb, but knew _so_ well what they were referring to - his Instagram page where he'd dish all the dirt about anyone at the university. His friends were not safe either from his petty habits. 

"Instagram." Maine grunted once more, holding his Gator-case protected phone close to Wash's face, the Instagram page plastered on the screen. "You. Have. Problem." 

"No I do not!" Wash denied, batting the phone away from his face as another cat rubbed against his leg. "How do you even know it's me? It could be anyone!" 

"Let's see," Carolina took her turn speaking, having her phone pulled out and scrolling through it. "This person has written...or should I say, _spilled_ the tea about our entire friend group but yourself, and seems to know everyone well enough to get personal secrets." 

"Are you saying I'm the only person here who's friends with each person in Blue House?" Wash defended. 

Carolina and Maine swapped glances. "Probability very small." Maine spoke with a hand gesture. He was already sick of talking, he just wanted the dirt of him liking anime off social media, even though _someone_ followed him for it. Who was it? He'll probably never know. 

"Wash, give it up already. We can look at your phone if we need to." Carolina had her arms folded, tilting back in the dining room chair. Everyone jumped slightly when a loud thump came from upstairs, followed by shouting. It seemed like Caboose and Church were awake and going into a shouting match. 

"Well I wouldn't want to give you my phone now since you're suspicious of me." Wash wrinkled his nose, slight anger in his eyes. 

"Sus." Maine simply grunted before Wash peered over at him. 

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" Wash started to raise his voice while Maine was nonchalant. 

"If you were inno, you would give phone. Sus that you won't. Means you hide something." Maine explained in his very particular 'long form' of speaking. Carolina nodded to Maine's detective work. He may have been a big, buff sports guy, but that didn't make him any less intelligent. 

Wash steamed in silence, he was essentially backed into a corner. Anything he could say would further convict him. 

"David, we just want you to stop putting everyone's dirty laundry out on the internet." Carolina spoke with slight tenderness in her voice. This whole 'Secret Tea' started because of her. He was jealous of York. Wash wanted to date her. 

"...but..." Wash croaked quietly before picking up the cat that sprawled at his feet to pet in his lap out of nervousness. All of his reasonings would be instantly shot down or deflected as 'childish' or 'psychotic'. 

"Therapy." Maine grunted, pushing back his chair and going to the fridge, helping himself to a leftover fruit tart that Kaikaina made. 

"Wh- no. I am _not_ going to therapy." 

"But you have a _problem_ , David," Carolina moved her chair closer to Wash to stop his hands from petting Loki. The cat meowed from the lack of attention but stayed in Wash's lap. "Counseling is really helpful, I promise. Charles and I found it helpful when we went through it." Maine grunted to his first name being used, but also because his mouth was half full of fruit tart. He scowled before nodding in agreement. 

Wash gave an eyeroll, hearing another thump from upstairs and Tucker shouting 'What the fuck??' super loud. Caboose must've woken everyone up. "Carolina, I don't need therapy for this." He already went through therapy for minor anxiety in high school and Loki, his emotional support animal, had helped him so much. 

Carolina was now the one steaming. "David, you're going to ruin your friendship with everyone over this! No one likes their shit being aired online to hundreds of people!" She rose her voice before hearing a thump.

"HEY. KEEP IT DOWN DOWN THERE." An angry and tired Church yelled through the floor boards of the older house. The kitchen went silent, except for the occasional munching on tarts from Maine and purring from Loki. 

"You need to stop this, Wash. Karma is going to hit you on the ass when you least expect it." Carolina finally spoke, her voice holding a quiet intensity. 

"...I don't think that's how the saying goes." Wash meekly tried to deflect her words to be met with Carolina storming out of the house. Maine blinked, realizing his 'partner' left, and after staring with wide eyes, grabbed one more fruit tart and slowly lumbered after her. Wash dropped his head. 

It was going to be a long spring semester. 

**Author's Note:**

> I can't say 'Secret Tea' out loud without audibly laughing.


End file.
